Ah, Miami. One day you’re watching Cuban hotties hustle on stage in a make-believe Havana. The next you’re in deepest Kendall, in a warehouse across the street from the Tamiami Airport, with a handsome Trinidadian gentleman handing you a pair of felt-tipped mallets and gesturing toward an array of six steel oil drums.

Don’t ask: “How did I get here?” Grab sticks and play!

I had never played pan, but bandleader and master pan maker Mike Kernahan saw me staring longingly at the oil drums lined up in his pan yard. Without a word, he walked into a closet, came out with a bag full of mallets and pointed me toward the bass pans.

Two expert musicians were already kicking out the bass in what looked like a dance. The tenor pans can stay in one place, but playing bass requires whirling from one steel drum to the next, a full circle to hit all six. I imitated the dread in front of me as best I could, keeping up with the beat if not always hitting the right notes.

“You never played pan before?” Kernahan flattered me afterward.

Only in my dreams, Mike. Only in my dreams.

Sounds:  I did an iPhone field recording of the song I got to play: And here’s a video of 21st Century wowing the crowd last year: Get your pan on this weekend at the Miami Broward One Carnival. Pan & Tassa Rama begins at 3pm on Saturday, October 10; ; Tickets $10 advance and $15 door.Bicentennial Park, 1075 Biscayne Boulevard, Miami. Miami Broward One Carnival begins at noon on Sunday; tickets $15 advance, $20 door. Both events at www.miamibrowardcarnival.com